Finding the Light After the Storm

The blizzard did not last forever.  When it was over, the sky was crystal clear and the sun rose to celebrate a new day.

I originally started this post a year ago after several winter snow storms, including a blizzard. When the season was over, we had 36" of snow.

What promoted the title of the posting AND interrupted my completing it, were the stormy conditions at work. We were bracing ourselves for the winds of change while at the same time leaning forward without moving ahead. At the end of the storm there was a deafening silence as we watched our friends fall and walk off into an unknown world. Those left behind stood in a swirl of emotions: the joy of relief and the guilt of survival. Those who left: were shocked and angered.

Unlike the snows left behind after a storm, The feelings that come from being "fired" don't melt away quickly when the sun shines. But the sun does shine and eventually there is a melting but more importantly there IS light after the storm. And it can be filled with joy if one just opens one's eyes and breathes deeply.

Walking with the Warrior

I just got “inked.”

I have a tattoo of a female warrior and sage on the inside of my left ankle. Getting this tattoo is and is not a mystery. It has so many meanings and it has none. It is rational and it is irrational. But people will ask, “Why did you get it?” Some will accompany the question with their nostrils curled: ”Eeuuu. Gross.” ”Didn’t think you were the type.” “Why do you want to permanently mar your body? ”What does it say about you?” Indeed what does it say about me? What.... does... it... say?

To me, this tattoo, this female Warrior Sage, symbolizes survival and courage, joy, happiness, sorrow, frustration….In other words she represents life:

• Growing up and out of a blue color childhood riddled with alcoholism.
• Standing up to and overcoming the "psyche" of Catholic school nuns.
• Being one of the first female undergraduates to participate in the International Law and Relations program.
• Surviving years in a "man's world" with most of my creative soul in tact.
• Being with your soul mate for 35 years and counting.
• Giving birth to two beautiful children.
• Harmonizing motherhood with being a globe trotting executive....
• .... and a host of other statements.

Now don’t get me wrong…. that is not about overcoming hardship. There isn’t anything about my life that was hard. It’s just life.

That being said, the female Warrior stands for justice and truth and represents my passion for authenticity. And the Sage represents a turning point – a transition to a new phase of my life. One in which I will strive to leave my ego behind. She is a reminder that I don’t have to “fight” anymore. She will remind me to breath, to be awake to life, and that THIS moment is the best moment.

But did I really need to get a tattoo? Do I support tattooing? Do I recommend getting one? I can’t say no – wouldn’t that be hypocritical? I can’t say yes either. I can only advise that it is personal and there is a lot to consider. Don’t choose one to be heroic. Don’t do it because it is trendy. Consider its implications on your life. Some environments may require no tattoos. Society remains schizophrenic about tattooing. People will tend to look at a tattoo and judge you before they know you: whether that is good or bad. Unfair as that is, people are characteristically superficial that way.

For me its symbolism is strong and one that I don’t expect or need anyone to understand. This next part of my life is not about proving who I am. Hell, even I still wonder who I am. But I want this next phase of my life to be about BEING. Being who I am without apology.

Instead of writing that down on some piece of paper that I will inevitably lose, I have put the Warrior Sage on my ankle to walk with me always.